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| Avery's
Campaign Journal Well, the big day is getting closer. After months of waiting, soon Halloween will be upon us! That happy and phantasmagoric day when we celebrate the dead and encourage our children to take candy from strangers. But until then, let’s get back to the election. Our two traveling boys (Yawn Kerry and George Shrub) have now reached that most interesting stage in which they clearly show us what a bunch of inveterate liars they really are. Indeed both of the talking meatheads are now saying whatever comes to their mind – and the truth gets left far, far, far, behind. “I know for a fact that George Bush is afraid of those flying monkeys in The Wizard of Oz,” said Senator Yawn while stumping away in (where else?) Ohio, “is this kind of chickens&*t the man we want to run our country?” “Senator Kerry wears lady’s underwear and voted against anything that’s good 1,876 times.” Mr. Bush told a crowd in (yes) Ohio. “My unworthy opponent believes the economy grows by getting little green men from Mars who have these... um, ray-guns that they, um, blast on the economy to make it better... And he’s a total knob!” Geriatric rockers Bruce Springsteen (Born in the USA – in 1903) and Bon Jovi rejoined Kerry’s traveling circus, while Mr. Bush trotted out King Kong’s arch nemesis, crack pot and fire breathing, Democrat, Zell (Spit Balls) Miller to introduce him at an event in... Ohio! “Ghaggh! Bleck! Nragh! Hackkk! Zzzackkk! Frackkkk!” Said the iconoclastic and turncoat Senator. Meanwhile, in Ohio, Senator Kerry said that Mr. Shrub “has failed in his fundamental obligation as commander in chief to make America as safe and secure as we should. And the beady-eyed moron lost all those weapons. Well guess what folks, now Iraq does have weapons of mass destruction and they got them because our boozehound of a president was too busy getting loaded to notice them gone. The guy’s always bombed and now the enemy has our bombs... Okay, that’s not the catchiest of phrases, but maybe someone out there can tighten it up for me.” Oct 26 / 2004 |
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