Avery's Campaign Journal

The Campaign In the USA

Oct 12 / 2004

Looking to find out what the candidates were actually thinking during the Town Hall debate? Click here: October 8

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Four years ago, Darth Nader had a seat on the Sunday talk shows, a spot on 43 state ballots and a plucky no-budget campaign that was packing in delusional and rabid supporters. This year he’s back spouting the same message: But happily, this time, he stands at just 1 percent in the polls and former allies are pleading with the little hardheaded moron to just give up.

“Welcome to 4 more years of the Nader politics of joy and justice," Ralphie called out to the 17 noisy fans who had crammed into his bedroom to listen to the spoiler deliver a speech while he jumped up and down on his bed.

Last time out, Nader had 2.9 million votes, 2.7 percent of all ballots cast, and no regrets that his outsider candidacy tilted the election in favor of George W. Shrub. Among many Democrats, though, there was anger that he hadn't dropped out of the race. And even among some Nader voters, there was a sinking sense of buyer's remorse.

As for the Republicans, well, they love the little wing nut and just keep contributing to his party. And why not? It works for them.

His message hasn't changed. "I really, really, really, want to be president,” he said last week in Portland, Maine. But Nader has had to claw his way onto ballots around the country in the face of an aggressive anti-Nader campaign spearheaded by some of his former allies. His name will be absent in three of his top four vote-getting states from 2000: California, Massachusetts and Texas – but not Florida!

The one-time consumer advocate and defender of the little guy seems painfully oblivious to his latest legacy and rejects the belief that his candidacy hurts the Democrats: And while this proves his head is as deeply buried up his ass as Bush’s and Kerry’s, that doesn’t make him a better politician.

Critics, meanwhile, say Nader has compromised his reputation for independence by allowing Conservatives to help get him on state ballots and by accepting their contributions – gee, ya think?

These days, Nader's rallies tend to a small smattering of people, most of them homeless, who attend his rallies only because Nader hands out free cookies and scotch. Long gone from the crowds are the Susan Sarandons and Michael Moores, who can afford their own cookies and scotch.

An analysis of AP-Ipsos polling indicates Nader's supporters tend to look a lot like Kerry's although they are somewhat more likely to be disenfranchised as well as incredibly naïve and misguided white things.

“He’s not a spoiler,” said a young white man named Herb while munching on his free cookie and sipping his free scotch. “A spoiler is ‘a long, narrow hinged plate on the upper surface of an airplane wing that reduces lift and increases drag when raised’ you liberal media types, you never do your research.”

Nader himself sends mixed signals about how he views his candidacy. During his appearance in Portland, Nader rebutted the spoiler label, saying he wished Democrats would "stop defining spoiler as anyone who takes votes" from Kerry and isn't a Republican. But go to his Web site, and you can order official "spoiler" gear, from T-shirts to playing cards.

The Campaign In the USA

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