Avery's Campaign Journal

The Campaign In the USA

May 31/2004

Kerry swung by for some pan-fried venison, coquilles for two, oven braised hare, M&M peanuts, cantaloupe soup, clams fricassee, eggplant puree, and mango juice. Weird, but he arrived dressed as a Star Trek Vulcan. He says they are the world's most logical race. I pointed out that, in fact, they aren't really a race, but some characters from a TV show adored by nerds world wide. Tossing all Vulcan logic out the window, he accused me of siding with the Bush's and being their puppet. I calmly explained that the only reason I go golfing with George Sr., is because we're both friendly with the guy who sang for Twisted Sister, and it always cracks us up to watch him swallow the gold fish from the club's aquarium. I don't know if this calmed him down but he definitely was up for some mind melding after that. I told him (as nicely as I could) that while I thought it was great that he was trying to shake up his image a bit, I wasn't sure if this was the right direction (I mean, doesn't he have campaign advisors for this kind of thing?). I could see he was miffed and so he tried to knock me out with a Vulcan neck pinch. After about 25 attempts he gave up and went home. Later I discovered that the bastard stole my welcome mat.

May 30/2004
May 29/2004
May 28/2004
May 27/2004
May 26/2004

The Campaign In the USA

The Campaign In Canada