Avery's Campaign Journal

The Campaign In the USA

June 3/2004

Part III of "George Bush beats up the paperboy."

If you missed the previous segments, (June 1 & 2) I suggest you read them before going any further.

PART THREE: REVENGE OF THE PAPERBOY!

Terry Wilson, the wheezy 10-year-old, has just revealed that George Bush sucker punched him with a frozen lasagna and then locked himself in The White House and wouldn't come out and "fight like a man." Young Terry now has Mr. Bush out in the open on the White House front lawn, and just where he wants him. Avery Ant looks on in bemusement.

Terry: I got you now, Bush!

George: Avery, help me, the kid's out of his mind.

Avery: You brought this on yourself, George.

Terry: I'm gonna wop your middle-aged ass… Sorry I swore.

George: Avery please, help me. I think he's serious.

Avery: Oh for the love of… Listen, kid…

Terry: Shut up Mr. Ant, or you'll be next. I don't have a beef with you and I'd be just as happy to keep it that way… (He wheezes and points menacingly at George.) I want him! This means war!

George: No, I got enough trouble with the other one… Look kid, how about I get Laura to bake you some cookies…

Terry: Trying to bribe me, huh? Put up your dukes!

George: Look kid, I'm warning you… There's two of us, right, Avery?

Avery: That's pretty pathetic, George.

Terry kicks George in the knee.

George: Ouch! Quit it! You better be careful, Terry. I have weapons of mass destruction and I ain't afraid to use them

Terry now has George in an arm lock.

George: Ouch! Ow! Okay, I'm sorry. Please Terry, have pity. I promise I won't do it again. Stop! That hurts! I'll make you vice president. Dick can't hang on for much longer…

Terry is now giving George a noogie and kneeing him in the groin.

Avery: Fight! Fight!

Terry: Say Uncle Sam!

George: (crying) Uncle! Uncle Sam!

Avery: Okay Terry, the president's had enough.

Terry: Take this home to your father! (He punches George in the face) Okay, I gotta go. The streetlights just came on. You look pretty beat up Mr. Bush, what are you going to tell the American people happened to you this time?

Terry flings George to the ground.

Avery: Don't worry Terry. He's got a roomful of people to take care of that stuff.

Terry: Okay. Goodnight Mr. Ant.

Terry skips off merrily. George lies on the ground whimpering.

Avery: Well George, that was pathetically embarrassing.

George: I know what you mean. Talk about lame excuses, "the streetlights just came on…"

June 2/2004
June 1/2004
May 31/2004
May 30/2004
May 29/2004
May 28/2004
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