Avery's Campaign Journal

The Campaign In the USA

June 12/2004

Here's a skit that was sent to us by Andrew Mackenzie. Thanks Andrew, this means I can go golfing with Bush Sr. and that guy who sang for Twisted Sister.

George Bush and John Kerry are standing on a street corner. They both hold street hotdogs in their hands.

George: So my popularity is plummeting and you're still failing to impress anyone.

John: I know. I read the papers too.

George looks at his hotdog and then at John's.

George: Well, it looks like I've got the bigger hot dog.

John: What?

George: Yeah, mine's bigger than yours… Longer and thicker.

John: No it isn't, they're the same.

George: Hmm? Oh no they're not. Look, I'm not trying to boast or embarrass you but the fact is that my hot dog is bigger and thicker. I've got a very large hotdog.

John: I'm sorry to contradict you George, but in fact my hot dog is a lot longer than yours. It'll probably last longer and be more satisfying too.

George: it looks burnt. And it's shriveled.

John: Pardon me?

George: Your hotdog. It's burnt. The skin is all dry and shriveled and it has shrunk to probably four fifths of its intended size, why it looks like it just came out of the bath. Whereas mine is ripe. See the way it shimmers in the sunlight! It glistens and that's because it is engorged.

John: Engorged? It looks limp and soggy.

George: No it isn't.

John: Now mine is very hard. I like a hard hotdog. Soggy dogs are no good at all.

George: Now while it may be true that my dog may not be a bland and boring relic like yours, it is very firm… Firm and giving. Giving to the touch. It is supple yet rigid, just the way a good hotdog should be.

John: It's soggy, George. Definitely limp. I mean, it's just drooping like a…

George: Like a what!??

Tomorrow: Yes, like a what? Find out in tomorrow's phallic conclusion.

June 11/2004
June 10/2004
June 9/2004
June 8/2004
June 7/2004
June 6/2004
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