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| Avery's
Campaign Journal I figured it might be a bit of a laugh to have a few opinionated artists over for some poker, beer, and gossip. So I called Pete Townshend, Gore Vidal, and Charlton Heston. It was a free for all... First off an uninvited Michael Moore showed up at my front door with a camera crew. I told him I had “No Comment” but he got in my face and made me confess that, yes, I was having a poker party, and that it was true I was “Anti-Whoopi.” Which, it turns out, now means I’m “Pro-Bush.” Then he barged in, asked me to spot him a few grand for the game and began to route through my fridge. “Where do you keep the Champagne,” he asked me before grudgingly accepting “a common beer.” ----- We were only into our forth hand when the bickering began. Michael was upset with Peter because the rocker had called him a “bully.” And all over that song Won’t Get Fooled Again. I gather Pete had refused Mikey the permission to use the tune for the end credits of Fahrenheit 411... I mean Fahrenheit 90210... You know the movie I’m talking about. Michael’s theory was that the reason Pete wouldn’t lend him the song was because Pete was in favor of the war in Iraq, which makes him “Pro Bush.” Even Heston and Vidal rolled their eyes! Then Pete said that he greatly resented being slurred and bullied by Michael. That’s when he got off a good zinger and compared Mike’s one-sided filmmaking approach to that of George Bush’s iron-fisted ruling approach. “It seems to me,” he snarled, “that this aspect of your nature is not unlike that of the powerful and willful man at the center of your new documentary.” You can imagine how much this infuriated Michael. Gore started giggling and I could smell the black and foul scent of burning sausage rolls coming from the kitchen. Then came the onslaught of barbs: Michael called Pete a stinkin’ hooligan Limey. Pete retorted by suggesting that Michael perform a self-rectal examination with his camera. Vidal jumped in and said something rather witty about Bush Bashing and Blair Bating and other B-words, and poor Chuck Heston looked like he wanted to slug everyone in the room. That’s when Michael pulled out a handgun and nearly ruined the entire evening. TOMORROW: PART 2! WILL MICHAEL GO POSTAL? WILL GORE SAY SOMETHING WITTY? WHILE CHARLTON MAKE A REFERENCE TO “THE TOWERING INFERNO”? ALL THIS AND MORE...July 18 / 2004 |
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