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Avery's
Campaign Journal
The Campaign In Canada
May 30/2004
Kind of ticked at Harpo. I had leant him 20 bucks
for a bucket of chicken and a litre of root beer and he really took his
sweet time paying me back. Anyway he finally handed me an oversized novelty
cheque and the friggin' thing bounced! Thanks a lot Mr. family values
and fiscal responsibility. Saw in the papers that he actually made a joke
(seriously!), he said, "The liberals will tax you to death and the
NDP will tax the corpse." Hoo-ha! Given that Harpo's a prime example
of the walking, talking, and living dead, his self-deprecating bon mot
is funny on so many different levels… More convinced now than ever
that he's a robot or some type of machine that was created on an assembly
line. Next time we go trolling for hotties, I'm gonna check the small
of his back for the string you pull to make him talk.
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Called the princely PM to ask if his fridge was running and to find out
how it felt to rule the country on borrowed time. Got his answering machine.
It's pretty bizarre to listen to a taped message of the country's most
powerful man crying and telling you to, "please, please, please,
leave me a message that doesn't say I can't be trusted. I can, I swear,
I can… (Sob, sob, weep.) Oh, and (sniffle) I've never met that Dalton
fellow… Well maybe once at a Kiss concert, but that was back in the
70's and he was dressed as Paul Stanley, so I didn't even realize it was
actually him… Please, love me."
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Later:
Swung by a Tim Hortons for java and crullers. Asked the kid behind the
counter if he had any idea why the Tim Hortons' TV ads are always so incredibly
lame. He told me he wished he were dead and that it was all he could do
not to spit in the coffee and donuts. Fair enough…
Kind of weird, but Duceppe was also there (he always seems to be turning
up these days!). He insisted on joining me and started prattling on about
what great chums we were. News to me… He invited me over to his place
for a barbecue and beer blast, but I told him to bug off. He laughed in
a sort of insane way, rubbed my leg and then kissed me on the lips. The
guy's starting to freak me out.
May 29/2004
May 28/2004
May 27/2004
May 26/2004
May 25/2004
Canadian Archives
The
Campaign In Canada
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