Avery's Campaign Journal

The Campaign In Canada

May 28/2004

Bumped into Harpo at the hairdressers. He requires three technicians and several high-powered hairspray guns to keep that 'do of his pasted to his noggin. The fumes tend to make him giddy and almost lifelike.

I asked him to be honest and tell me if there was any truth to the rumours that he was actually a robot. He told me that my question, "does not compute."

Later we shared a cup of tea and he giggled like a schoolgirl over the hissy fits that "Jesus Layton" has about the homeless. (According to the Steven machine, Layton isn't "pro homeless.") I offered to go shopping with Harpo, and help him pick out a new armband, but he was more interested in purchasing a cat o' nine tails to help whip the economy into shape.

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Called Mr. Martin and asked him why he doesn't just implement his 2 billion dollar a year health care pledge now. He told me that he could, but he doesn't feel like it. Then he backtracked (I could hear the ice clinking in his glass) and said that what he meant to say was that he couldn't do that because, well, what if he did, and then didn't get elected? Then he emitted a stream of profanity, called me a centipede, and confessed to having a fear of circus clowns and New Democrats. Wasn't entirely sure where he was going with this, but before I could get any further he began weeping. Asked him if his fridge was running, and went he went to check, hung up.

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Another underground rave, another chance encounter with Duceppe. I try not to laugh when I watch him dance, or when he tells me his political policies… but really!

May 28/2004
May 27/2004
May 26/2004
May 25/2004
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The Campaign In Canada

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