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Avery's
Campaign Journal
The Campaign In Canada
June 17/2004
It appears that my deciding to pass on the debates
has really hurt my popularity in the poles. It's just dawning on me that
I might not be the next PM! Holy crap! Where in all the circles of hell
does this leave me? I can't go back to male modeling. I mean, it was fun,
but I've put on weight and the leather pants chaff my buttocks. Clearly,
I need to refocus. Perhaps my new military policy and my homelessness
policy will win voters over (you can check them out on the Avery for PM
link), if not - I maybe screwed!
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You can see the arrogance growing with Harpo and Raving Duceppe. They
are like two conspiratorial peas in a pod. Hair Steve is once again predicting
a majority and looking very pleased with his robotic self. I'm so happy
for him. I suggested we go dancing. Hey, I'll even let him lead. He can
teach me how to do the goose-step.
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And Duceppe, well, with absolute power comes absolute corruption (see
the past decade of Federal Liberals) and so he's amped up the stalking
of this ant more than a notch.
First off he's calling me and saying that he sees our clashing together
of our torsos as more than a one-night stand ("We are more 'den de
two adults who saw an opportunity and took advantage of it"). Okay,
but the problem is we never had a one-night stand. I'm sure he must have
me confused with someone else and when I suggested as much (maybe it was
Harper "on his knees") that legendary French temper of his flared
up.
So I told him once again to get lost. And now's he really going ballistic
and pathological. He bought me a rabbit and then boiled it (a French delicacy,
I gather), he calls me at home in the middle of the night, and has even
thrown acid on my car. I've threatened to call the police but he just
laughs and says, "Oh you simple little Ant Buddy, don't you know
that I am now the most powerful man in Canada? Scream all you want - no
one will 'ere you!"
June 16/2004
June 15/2004
June
14/2004
June 13/2004
June 12/2004
June 11/2004
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The Campaign In Canada
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