Avery Ant and the Ghost of Princess
Having an Affair: Avery May be Doing
Weekly World News - April 12, 2004
By Daisy Pert
Palace officials are said to be furious over Avery Ant's torrid
love affair with the ghost of Princess Diana, according to top-secret
reports. Prince Charles is particularly upset that the deceased
Diana's dalliance with the diminutive star of stage and screen has
sullied the palace and left the Prince of Wales the "biggest
cuckold in the bloody world!"
"She won't even quit after death! Using a common household
pest to get back at a future monarch is pretty low," fumed
one palace insider.
Meanwhile, royalists are braced for the worst. Long time royal watcher
Molly Sams notes, "I think we're just seeing the tip of the
iceberg on this scandal. Have you noticed that Harry in particular
has a certain "pisant sais quoi" quality to him? Who knows
how long this affair has been going on and what it could
mean to the crown."
Not all agree, however. Another long-time royal observer, Adrienne
Frame, believes that Avery Ant and the Queen have conspired with
the ghost of Diana to keep Charles in his place until it's his time
to take the throne. "Charles has been getting a little too
pushy in recent years. The Queen has her own little worker ant in
Avery, who, as you know, will do anything for her. The Queen has
also managed to tap into the bitterness under Diana's decaying beauty.
HRH is definitely calling the shots on this one."
Rumours of the Princess's ghost haunting the palace have persisted
since her untimely demise.
"I've seen 'er spectre plenty of times," claims another
palace insider. "She was a pretty sorry sight until the ghost
of Versace starting designing for her. After that she looked dead
lovely. And then that Avery insect chap showed up to help the young
princes with their algebra and Chaucer. Next thing, 'e's skulking
about the palace like Iago and playing silly buggers with the phantom
of the palace, cor wot!"
The Princess is widely known to be the most photographed ghost in
the other world.
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