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Extra! Extra! Read all about me! Not only am
I hot - I'm hot off the presses!
As a notorious ranting ant, I'm forever in the news - whether I
like it or not. It's always something: Paternity Suit this, Sentencing
Hearing that… Oh well, life is always more complicated when
you're beautiful and talented.
Read the praise heaped upon me in the gushing celebrity magazines;
peruse the dirt in the trashy gossip columns and their titillating
descriptions of my liaisons with partners of the two-, four- and
six-legged varieties.
Flip through the informative and slanderous articles about me in
The New York Times, People Magazine, The World Weekly News, Insect
Monthly, and everything in-between.
Because I'm such a shameless self-promoter and rowdy pisant, I've
been featured in the sports pages, the entertainment pages, the
business pages, the natural science pages, and even the obituaries.
Anyway, this is your chance to read the ink and get the skinny on
the life of Avery as seen through the bleary and adoring eyes of
journalists worldwide.
Take the good with the bad, the sublime with the obscene and read,
read, read.
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