"I Think, Therefore I Ant."
October 30
Don't
Want Kids Around? Put Up One of These!
Tell
the kids that the antsy scarecrow wants to harvest their brains. Watch them flee in
disbelief!
October 28
More Halloween Costumes for Kids
The Clown Nose
Now you can see what your little tyke looks like with a bulbous, alcohol
induced drinking nose. The
result? Just like you!
Pedro
Everyone
loves Mexicans. Kids in particular
want to dress up like them. Now’s
their chance to look like
Mexico
’s most famous hero!
*Green Card Not Included
Spats
Yet another accessory for the kid going out as an 18th Century
Fop… Because EVERYONE will be looking at their ankles.
Burqua
Don’t expect to get lots of candy. Do expect to be pelted with rocks and
garbage.
SWAT
Helmut
Oh sure, your kid could knock on doors, wait patiently and then go through the
whole “Trick or Treat” ritual/sham, but with a SWAT Helmut on they can
simply kick it down, grab all the goodies and move on.
October 27
This
Year’s Hot Ticket Halloween Costumes for Kids
What do kids look for in a costume? I don’t know. In fact, who knows what
the hell goes on in their heads? But
chances are you can’t go terribly wrong dressing them up in some crap like
this…
The Prison Uniform
Your little gangsta will
love it and you want to keep him happy or he’s likely to cap your sorry, fat
ass.
The
Indian Choker
It’s
stylish and very effective at choking Indians. Which means it’s also
practical!
And
don’t forget…
Cowboy Holsters for their Guns!
Because after you’ve choked the Indian you’ll want to shoot him.
And every little cowboy needs a holster for his guns.
Elvis
Sunglasses
They’re tawdry – just
like Elvis was!
*Deep fried peanut butter sandwiches and
monkey having sex with prostitute not included.
Roman
Wristbands
Your little Nero and Caligula will love you – hopefully not in that creepy
Roman Caesar incestuous way…
Batman
Pail Head
This year when your kid says, “Bring me the head of Batman” you can do
just that. Who knew you could store treats in the Caped Crusader's open
skull?
A
Pirate Eye Patch
For the kid who’s stopped trying and just wants candy.
October 26
Halloween Horrors For Kids
Hey
kids, is this the kind of costume that your dad wears…?
And how about your mom? Is she prone to dressing up on Halloween in something
like this?
If so, you got problems and I thank the good lord that they’re yours and not
mine. It also means that your
wacky parents will incorporate their so-called-senses-of-humour into your
costume. What does that look like? Probably
something like this...
The Toilet
Yes, it’s a crappy looking costume.
The Disease
Mom and dad are so kooky that instead of getting you a costume they just make
sure you get an infectious disease.
Still, there isn't a
kid out there who can say no to “pity candy.”
The 18th Century Vampire Fop
A classic. A consumer survey by the National Retailers Foperation suggested 18th
Century Vampire Fops would again be one of the top costumes this year and if
there’s one things kids love it’s conforming – and 18th
century fops! Am I right?
Abu Ghraib Prisoner
Incorporate your pet dog and cigarette smoking sister into the mix. Just have
Halloween fun!
Last Christmas is so 2005...
Only 57 Shopping Days Left Until Xmas!
(to
the top)
To read all the other mildly exciting editions of
"Avery's Daily Journal" visit
"Avery's Journal Archives"
Meanwhile...
Ten Men Who
Can’t Do Drag
The
Monsters That Tucked Me In
Satan’s New Image
The 12
Strange Faces of Jesus
 Liner
Notes From Bad Albums
Twisted
Toys In The Attic
 Movie
Monsters From Way Back
What
to say in a Job Interview
Journals of Leon
Schlesinger
Powerful
Superwomen
 Top
Ten Books of Summer 2005
Fashion Faux
Pas
Partisan
Broadcast System
(to
the top)
Like I said before: To read all the other mildly exciting editions of
"Avery's Daily Journal" visit
"Avery's Journal Archives"
|
