Avery, on The Meaning of Life:

"Remember kids, it’s only funny until someone loses an ideology."

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"I Think, Therefore I Ant."

    The Monsters That Tucked Me In

I was always a nervous kid and
never very good with bedtime

Getting the lights turned out was bad
but even worse, was…

The Monsters That Tucked Me In

They were blood relatives

and friends of the family…

…When they were sober 
my parents looked something like this…

After a few,
in my eyes, they looked more like this…

MY aunt (Millie) and uncle (Nick)
scared the living hell out of me…
Word was that Millie

had lured sluggish Nick into her web
…I believed it

ABOVE: My babysitter, (left) 
me, (centre) her fat boyfriend (right)
food from our fridge (his hands and mouth)
an unidentified cockroach (far right wall)

My Uncle Roger was
apparently a hilarious guy 
he’d move his neck so fast
that I thought he had three heads
He’d laugh and wish me goodnight
then tell me there was a family
of child-eating rats living under my bed

The drawing below is from when my grandfather
told me that if I waited until midnight
then looked in my toy box
I’d get a big surprise
So I did 
and out he sprung 
laughing maniacally…

…I never opened that toy box again.

Aunt Tilda's goodnight kiss

And then there were the others 
who’d whisper in my ear
that the world was a big place
which would crush my little dreams

Eventually falling asleep became a real problem

The source of my troubles
was easy enough to identify

But it didn’t stop the anxiety…

My fear of the monsters that tucked me in
got so bad that I started to worry
that maybe, finally, one night
ALL of them
would tuck me in at the same time!

I stopped sleeping all together…

It didn’t take long for me to begin
experiencing waking dreams
In one of them
I saw myself in the future
Apparently, I’d gone into the arts…

My parents were now concerned
and took me to a doctor who prescribed
”alternatives in the world of pharmaceuticals”

Sleep finally came… 

And when I grew up I didn’t kill myself
But instead became a mercenary

To this very day
I still have problems sleeping
But I suspect that it’s more work related…




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