"I Think, Therefore I Ant."
June 27
JFK
Advisor Dead at 82
Frederick G. Dutton, an adviser to
President Kennedy and an assistant secretary of state, died Saturday “with
his boots on.” He was 82.
“He loved his Viagra and call-girls,”
Dutton’s wife Nancy said, “maybe a little too much. That’s the last time
I leave him home alone for the weekend. Oh wait, I guess it really is.”
Dutton joined John F. Kennedy’s
presidential campaign in 1960 and, after Kennedy’s victory, served the
president as his pimp and procurer.
“He got Kennedy twins, MILFs, jail-bait,
nymphos, movie starlets, fatties, circus freaks, contortionists, bad girls,
oral queens, whatever he wanted... I could have used a guy like that on my
staff,” said ex-President, Bill Clinton.
Your
Horoscope:
Aries:
It’s great to turn budding ideas into solid plans so start working on your
pot grow-op.
Taurus: When people tell you that you have a short fuse, don’t get
angry, but happily slug them in the skull with a baseball bat.
Gemini: Your friends and family
plan a surprise in your honour – and then change their minds.
Cancer: In your occasional moments of clarity, life scares the
hell out of you.
Leo: You know how to fit more into one day than others do in a week.
Although that seems an unlikely connection as to why everyone is always asking
you to help them move. That probably has more to do with the fact that you own
a van.
Virgo: Some of your assumptions are fallacious. Later today you will look
up the word “fallacious” in the dictionary.
Libra: If you consider going to the bathroom “travel” then you will be
doing lots of traveling this week.
Scorpio: If you move too fast, you could be considered hasty, too slowly
and you might appear indecisive. Hey, you can’t win, so just give up.
Sagittarius: A bottle of liquor and your phone is all you need to annoy
others.
Capricorn: That guy in the orange fright wig will kick you in the nuts.
Aquarius: Delicate issues blow up like landmines. Buy more landmines.
Pisces: You are conscious of a big responsibility to help people. But that
doesn’t mean you will.
This Week's Featured
Album:
Christian Crusaders with Al Davis
Liner Notes.
Side One:
1.
I’m Not Fat, I’m Full Of Christian Love
2.
Die Sinners Die!
3.
Lie Back & Think of God (I Know I Will)
4.
See You At Church – Or Else
5.
Pregnant Teenagers Burning in Hell (Acoustic Version)
Side Two:
1.
Jesus Saw The Filthy Beggar And He Kept On Walking
2.
Pity The Jews
3.
Powder Blue Pants, Black Shoes, Red Shirt (Ska Version)
4.
Teach Your Children Shame
5.
Do The Hairshirt
When Colombia Records approached me to
record this album, I thought, “These godless heathen record industry types
sicken me to my very core." Then I figured it had to be a sign from God,
because, well, I think everything that happens to me is a sign from God. Our
approach to making this album was novel: We’d write some songs and record
them. And with the money we made we’d buy stuff, like clothes and food. This
was pretty revolutionary thinking back then. A lot of people don’t know this
but “Christian Crusaders” was recorded in about 2 hours. Our producer, I
think his name was Marty, spent the entire session in another room having what
sounded like carnal relations with someone (probably a man). He told us the
record wouldn’t sell. He said we didn’t have a sound anyone would buy. He
insisted we’d be forgotten in no time and that no kid in his right mind
would ever dance to a song called “Do The Hairshirt.” Boy, was he right.
The only satisfaction I can take from this is that I heard he died in a fire a
few years later.
Al Davis (revised liner notes 1984)
Cover photo: Al’s mom. ©
1972 Columbia Records
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