"I Think, Therefore I Ant."
June 22
Lollipot,
lollipot
Oh
lolli lolli lolli
Lollipot lollipot...
So
what’s new for a pothead to munch on? Well, how about marijuana-flavored
lollipops? It’s an idea that for some reason seems to be really pissing off
anti-drug advocates.
“They’re
already stoned, so they don’t need these. It’s just going to confuse them,
and, like I said, they’re already stoned so they’re already pretty
confused,” said Georgia state Sen. Vincent Fort, who, like most older
Americans, would have preferred an alcohol-flavored lollypop for drunks.
The
confections are legal, because they are totally useless at getting you high.
“Dude, you’d have more luck getting buzzed by sucking on a gas pipe...
Which doesn’t sound like a bad idea. ‘Scuse me.” Said a moronic
teenager.
Merchants
call the “lollipots” a harmless novelty.
“As long as they are not running with
them in their mouths or sticking them right up each other’s asses, there
shouldn’t be any problems,” said Rick Watkins, marketing director and part
time pot seller for Corona, Calif.-based Chronic Candy, which uses the slogan
“You’d be better off smoking a real joint.”
Your
Horoscope:
Aries:
You will look life’s challenges straight in the eye – and then turn tail
and run away.
Taurus: Symbolic gestures are all fine and dandy but for once how about
actually buying someone a birthday gift?
Gemini: Your impulsive decisions
are always based on hours of careful research.
Cancer: Your maverick spirit is stirring – go ahead, have that
extra spoonful of sugar in your coffee!
Leo: You have the power to soar like an eagle and the diseases of a
pigeon.
Virgo: We are all influenced by the media... But you are right to hate
Rupert Murdoch.
Libra: It’s as if you are cowering behind a flimsy defense listening to
the sound of an approaching army invasion. It’s another day as a Libra.
Scorpio: Not knowing what’s coming next is your middle name.
Sagittarius: You only hear what you want to hear you gorgeous, intelligent
creature!
Capricorn: Life is about to become more interesting – for everybody but
you.
Aquarius: The full moon will bring a welcome breath of fresh air, however
the smog will quickly put an end to it.
Pisces: A visit to a carwash brings more satisfaction than all the therapy
in the world.
Link
Of The Week: Blogywood
Looking for a fun site with lots of superb
links? Then say hello and thank-you to Steven at Blogywood because he’s got
tons of great stuff for your Internet edification. Blogywood is chock-full of
wild and weird news stories, funny flash, amazing animation, general hilarity,
and, yes, babes. Plus, as a special bonus: It’s all for free! Why does he do
it? I can only guess it’s because he just cares too damn much. Take a peek.
You’ll be glad you did.
This Week’s 10
Words-Or-Less Celebrity Summations:
Jaleel
White (aka: Steve Urkel): Still universally
despised
Bat
Boy: Mortally wounded by music critics and
now dead of rabies
Donny Rumsfeld: Completely out and hideous to the eye
(to the top)
To read all the other mildly
exciting editions of "Avery's Daily Journal" visit
"Avery's Journal Archives"
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