"I Think, Therefore I Ant."
July 14
The Stupid Things I Did Today
Everyday
we all do stupid things – and not to brag, but I just happen to do them more
and better than others. (Yes,
that’s right, anyone who would brag about this is indeed very stupid!) These
idiotic acts of mine can be attributed to any number of things including (but
not limited to), the common brain fart, my general stupidity, letting down my
guard, just not thinking, or what I lovingly call a “brain-function
cake-down.”
Because
I’m such a generous guy (or should that be “stupid fool?”), I’ve
decided to share with you, the gentle reader, a list of “The Stupid Things I
Do.” I’m hoping it will
provide you with some laughs at my expense and me with some insights into the
patterns of my acts of stupidity or at the very least offer some kind of
revelations about my idiotic self; but then again, because I’m so
laughably half-witted, even if it did, I’d be too stupid to pick up on it.
The
stupid things I did today:
1.
I
run to catch bus with cup of coffee.
Coffee mostly ends up on my now no longer clean shirt.
2. Pick up Food Processor
blades...
by the blades.
2a. Try and stop profuse bleeding from Food Processor blades by holding
gushing bloody finger under cold tap. After
about 10 minutes I start to feel faint and am told by my long suffering wife to apply
pressure to stop the bleeding.
Miraculously, the bleeding stops.
3. I spend approximately 90 mind boggling minutes trying to burn a CD even though
my burner is clearly
not working (I suspect the reason it isn’t working has something to do with
me, but for time being can not verify this – more later).
4. At fast food restaurant I dump my food tray along with my finished food into
garbage bin.
5. Later:
Regarding CD burner – suspicions
confirmed – it’s me! I discover I have not connected the USB cord.
This Week's 10 Fun
Search Terms for Avery Ant
The following are this
week’s favorite 10 search queries people used to get to www.averyant.com
(really!)
i want superpowers like Jesus Christ
advantages of joining the french foreign legion
banks suck
betty veronica archie philosophy
get a ant queen by mail
gay monsters
bifurcated nipples
castration complex arabs
interrogation boy squeeze testicles
one minute hero
Last Christmas is so 2005...
Only 164 Shopping Days Left Until Xmas!
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